Love and Relationships

Loving Actions For Yourself


Loving actions for yourself are those actions that attend to your own needs. When you take loving action in your own behalf, you are letting yourself know that you matter, you are important, you count. When you fail to take loving action, you give yourself the message that you are not important, which leads to feelings of depression and inadequacy.


Loving actions for yourself might include:


• Eating nutritious foods, avoiding junk food and sugar, eating when hungry and stopping when full.
• Getting enough exercise.
• Keeping your work and home environments clean and organized.
• Getting enough sleep.
• Creating a balance between work and play. Making sure you have time to get your work done, as well as time to do nothing, reflect, learn, play and create.
• Creating a good support system of people who love and care about you.
• Being organized with your time, getting places on time, paying bills on time, and so on.
• Choosing to be compassionate with yourself rather than judgmental toward yourself.
• Creating a balance between time for yourself and time with others.
• Making sure you are physically safe by wearing a seat belt in a car, a helmet on a motorcycle, scooter, or bike, goggles when necessary, and so on.


Loving Actions In Relationship To Others


Loving actions in relationship to others might include:


• Being kind and compassionate toward others without compromising your own integrity or ignoring your own needs and feelings.
• Saying no when you mean no and yes when you mean yes, rather than giving yourself up and going along with something you don’t want to do, or automatically resisting what another wants from you.
• Taking care of your own needs instead of trying to change and control others. Accepting your lack of control over others and either accepting them as they are or not being around them.
• Speaking your truth about what is acceptable to you and what is unacceptable and then taking action for yourself based on your truth.
• Taking personal responsibility for your own feelings and needs, instead of being a victim and making others responsible for your feelings and needs.
• Creating a balance between giving and receiving, rather than a one- way street with another person.

Loving actions for yourself are those actions that attend to your own needs. When you take loving action in your own behalf, you are letting yourself know that you matter, you are important, you count. When you fail to take loving action, you give yourself the message that you are not important, which leads to feelings of depression and inadequacy.

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Tips to Keep Your Marriage Alive

Is your marriage boat rocking? Maybe you are thinking what happened to all those vows you took when you got married. It happens with the best of us. We start out with the best of hopes to do something great out of our marriage and then we falter along the way. However, if you give it a little more care and attention, maybe you can still keep your marriage alive.

If issues have cropped up between the two of you, then you need to first think for yourself how those issues started. In most cases, you will find that it was nobody’s fault and then it was the fault of both of you. If you can, get someone neutral whom you trust in and tell him or her of everything that has happened between your partner and you. They may be able to give you a great perspective on where the fault actually lies.

Whosoever is at fault, you are responsible as well. Being accountable for it is something that can really help you. Own up to your shortcomings. Accept to yourself that the mistake was not wholly your partner’s. Once you have done that, you must gather the courage to go up and speak to your partner. Tell them that you do not want your beautiful relationship to come to an end because of some trivial issues and tell them that you are expressly sorry for whatever happened. It does not matter if they apologize or not. You are not looking for an apology here. You are looking for a better life together. If you get back together, you have the whole life ahead to analyze what went wrong.

Bring the fun back into your relationship. Maybe things have started to sour because you are no longer as exciting for each other as you were before. Plan something together, like going on a vacation… just the two of us. This can work amazingly well in bringing both of you close together. When you get back together in this manner, you will both realize the fun aspect of your relationship that you have been missing so far and you will want to rekindle that passion once more.

Throughout all of this, you have to maintain an optimistic attitude. Keep confidence in yourself. Go on as nothing has happened to mar your relationship. Do not give out the slightest hint that your relationship has soured and that it is heading for bad times. If you think positively, then you will see the difference it makes for your partner’s perception of you.

5 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Successful

Relationships are not always sparkling, there comes a time when the fire in the relationship stops burning; this could lead to the end of a relationship. There are those things which are termed as quirky characteristics which may get to your nerves very fast. Many relationships get into peril when reality starts to show itself and that is when you start to know the good and the bad qualities of your better half. However you should not be scared because to every problem there is a solution. There are various steps which will help you to get your relationship back or keep your relationship interesting before it reaches this deadly stage.

If you follow these five steps then you can be assured of a strong relationship and also an interesting one. The first thing that you should do is to always remind yourself of the thing that made you to fall in love with your partner. There are those times when falling in love is very easy, the only thing that you need to do is to just remind yourself. How do you do this? You can remind yourself of how you felt the first time you met your partner or any special times that you both have shared. Think also of the hard times in your life. Think of how your partner supported you in those hard times. Reminding yourself of the past will help you greatly in putting a spark in your relationship. However if your memories are full of bad images then the best you can do is to end the relationship.

The second thing that you should do is to find a date night during the week. After being in a relationship for sometime, it is very easy for you to go back to your way of life without sparing some time for your partner. Having quality time for you and your partner is very important because it is the only way that you remind yourself of what is really important in your life.

The third step is telling your partner on daily basis why you love them. You should be ready to complete your partner on daily basis. This will not only make them feel good and closer to you but it will also be a routine. This will motivate the flow of love.

The fourth step is to be active. You can do this by playing games with one another. This will bring out deep feelings of love and joy.

 The fifth step is to get physical. Having a physical contact with your partner will definitely give a spark in your relationship.

3 Balances of Saving Your Relationship

The word balance is a very common one and it used in everyday life. It is a very important thing if you want to save your relationship. The people who are in relationships which are going down will realize that they have ignored or failed to attain the relationship balance. The thing that you should first understand is the meaning of this phrase. This phrase talks about three diverse types of balance and every type of balance is very important in a relationship if you want it to be successful.

The first balance is between your choices and behavior patterns, and your partner’s needs. The truth is that we all have choices that work well with us and only suit our lifestyle. However the fact that you have a partner, you will have to prepare yourself for a change of give and take so that you can save your relationship. Adjustments so as to please your partner have got to be made so that you can be in a position to restore your relationship. If by any chance you have contradicting personality characters involved. The truth is that you cannot change your partner’s personality and so what you can do is trying hard to accommodate one another and bring about helpful changes.

The second balance is dependence and independence. If you are having a hard time in restoring your relationship this simply means that one partner is trying to balance dependence and independence. This comes about when you are always dependent on your partner for poignant support, in making decisions, going out, and you have made your partner to feel that he or she cannot do without him. This will make them to feel that they are subdued and ensnared. This usually happens to men and in most cases that feel that the women want so much from them. For you to be able to restore your relationship then you have to note some independence and balance.

The last balance is speaking and listening. This point is self explanatory. There are many people who simply understand these two principles but very few of them implement them. The minute you start quarrelling one another, then you lose your relationship powers. The minute your ears are not working effectively then the thought of you saving your relationship fades away. It is advisable that you listen to one another when you are both at peace. The best thing that you are supposed to do is to take time and listen to one another’s idea about the relationship and then find solutions to the problems in the relationship. With effort you can be able to use these three balances and save your relationship.

Realize the Only Person You Can Change is You

Most relationships that encounter problems seem to focus on the “who is to blame” element. This is not only destructive but is also an action that usually leads to more problems than solutions.

Have A Look

Being the “bigger” person within the equation, would allow the individual to take on the responsibility of acknowledging some change is needed, and that the change should ideally start with the individual itself. Being prepared to accept that some of the fault does indeed lie at the individual’s “feet” is a set in the right direction.

Taking the time and effort to explore the various reasons and actions that had a part in contributing to the current negativity of the relationship will help the individual realize that there is really no benefit in placing the blame on everyone and anyone else.

Successful recovery of a damaged relationship will be off to a good start when each person involved is willing to change for the better. This should be the main focus of the exercise as changing for the better will always be a more beneficial exercise that will eventually become so normal that the individual will no longer look upon such an exercise as something forced or unfair.

The positive changes will also help the individual become a better person, thus making the overall situation more pleasant and easy to improve upon. It is also almost always easier to change oneself rather than trying to change the other party in the relationship. Changing oneself does not require the constant maneuvering of another person’s physical and mental control.

Concentrating on being a better person and a more loving and caring partner will also encourage the other party to respond in an equally positive manner thus successfully allowing the relationship to improve for the better.

Places To Get Free Counseling

Marriage is hard work and anyone who says otherwise is not really committed to making it for the long haul. Along with the hard work there are also times of great joy and fulfillment, but when this is not forthcoming for quite a while, then, it is time to seek some outside help. This help ideally should come in the form of marriage counseling.

The following are some places that one should explore for the purpose of seeking outside help to try and save or create a better and stronger marriage relationship:

Where To Go

Reading as much as possible on the subject would be helpful. When there are problems published that are similar to the ones the individual is going through the general experience and outcome could be applied or at least tried. Sometimes it would be helpful to know that there are others that have gone through the same situation and that it is possible to overcome it successfully.

Seeking counseling from a priest is also another option for those who are more religiously inclined. This is helpful only if both parties are open and willing to explore options that are closely linked to the religious angle or take on things. This is also a very helpful option, if both parties are known to the priest taking on the counseling session, as it would give all concerned a better and clearly take on the whole situation.

For some joining a support group would be a more suitable match, as they would prefer to hear several different views on the matter and also for its non threatening and non judgmental base. Being in a group will allow both parties to be able to hear several different types or suggestions and opinions that may prove to be helpful and practical.