The last thing your boyfriend wants to think about is another guy having been with you (whether we’re talking about sex or just hooking up). Envisioning some other guy getting down with you can literally drive him crazy.
Have you had a checkered sexual history that’s filled with lots of experience? If so, your boyfriend might have trouble dealing with this. But this is something that he must accept.
Don’t you dare let someone else throw your past in your face or hold it against you. If it’s ancient history (or only a few months ago), let it stay there, and move on.
He must accept you for all that you areIf he’s chosen to be with you…he needs to accept you for all that you are. And that means everything. It doesn’t mean he has to like your sexual history, of course, but it means he can’t hold it against you. It’s completely unfair for him to want to date you and then start knit-picking about details from your past.
If he’s constantly bringing up your pastTell him flat out that he’s going to have to accept everything about you if he wants to date you. Let him know he has two choices:
a) You two break up
b) You two stay together…but he can never mention your sexual past ever again. Never. Not even when you two are fighting.
Learn from your mistakes and move onThe few moments of pleasure that come from sex and hooking up can have a permanent effect on you reputation and self-esteem. If you’ve chosen to change your “free loving” ways, you’re doing the right thing and that’s what matters most. On the other hand, if youve only had a few hookup and your man is making a major issue about it, you might want to rethink whether you really need to date such a puritanical person.
In some way or another, breaking up and staying friends is sort of like getting back together with an ex. Only this time you two will not have a romantic relationship. It will only be a platonic relationship. There are some benefits and drawbacks to this. Read further and then decide whether breaking up and staying friends is right for you.
In order to figure out if staying friends with your ex is worthwhile to you, you must figure out if either one of you still has strong feelings for each other. If either one of you still want to get back together romantically, then there can be no possibility of having a platonic relationship because there will always be some longing there to get really close.
One possibility of being able to stay friends is if you and your partner find partners of your own who satisfy your need for romantic and emotional love. At that point, you will likely have reached full closure and are now strong enough to have a friendship level relationship with your ex. One example of this scenario can be found on the Santa Claus movie with Tim Allen. His wife left him and found another man, while Tim found fulfillment somewhere else. They were both fulfilled, therefore they were comfortable being friends with each other, even though they were exes.
Another drawback of breaking up and staying friends is the very real possibility of one of you getting jealous once the other one begins to have a romantic relationship with another person. This is the downfall and most common reason of failed friendships between ex lovers. If one of you feels jealousy clamoring to the surface, then friendship after a relationship is not for you. More often than not, this scenario happens, and in order to prevent this, it is best to go cold turkey. Give yourself at least a couple of months before contacting them again.
Sometimes in order to feel the benefits of friendship, you do need to be apart for a couple of months. If this might sound awkward or counter intuitive, consider the fact that you don’t know what you have until you lose it. After a little time passes, you might realize what a friend you actually had. Or your partner might realize what a good friend you were and then come back to you with mended ways. Either way, a little time apart might do both of you some good.
The few benefits that do exist when staying friends after a breakup beg the question: Why? Why would you want to stay friends with your ex after a breakup? If your new romantic partner is okay with it, then that will be fine. But if they are not okay with it, then you will have to choose whether you want to continue the relationship with both them and your ex. Some people would view that as baggage while others would see it as something totally doable. It is entirely up to you.
Are you married? If so, you likely love your wife, right? Despite a deep and intense love for your wife, you may still want to see an improvement in your intimacy. After all, what man doesn’t want good sex?
If you want to improve your intimacy with your wife, it is important to know that you have a number of different options. Unfortunately, many men automatically start think of the bedroom. Yes, you do want to “wow,” your wife in the bedroom, but that is not all that sex and intimacy is about. In fact, that is where many marriages go wrong. Too much focus is placed on the sex or the lack of it.
To help you properly improve your intimacy with your wife, please continue reading on. A few easy to implement, yet successful approaches are highlighted below for your convenience.
1 – Date Her
How long have you been married? If you have been married for a number of years now, do you honestly remember when your last “real,” date was. Unfortunately, many men underestimate the power of a date. You will not want to make this mistake. If you opt just for the sex, your wife may start to feel like it is her responsibility to please you and this is not how a relationship should work.
To not only improve your satisfaction in the bed, but to improve your wife’s satisfaction, take her out on a date. Many times, getting out of the house is enough to bring new excitement into a relationship. For the best level of success, choose a romantic date theme, such as a fancy dinner, a romantic movie, or a night at a nice hotel.
2 – Compliment Her
When is the last time that you have paid your wife a truly nice and unique compliment? If it has been a while, it is time for you to start again. Is your wife wearing a new outfit? Has she recently started a weight loss plan? Did your wife get her hair cut? If so, be sure to compliment her. Complimenting your wife on her appearance will increase her self-confidence. This, in turn, can improve experiences in the bedroom.
As important as it is to compliment your wife on her appearance, it is also important to remember to compliment her on other areas of your relationship. Do you notice that the house is clean? Has your wife prepared a nice dinner? If so, thank her for the job well done. This will not only help to improve your relationship in general, but it can have an impact on your experiences in the bedroom.
3 – Seduce Her
What is sex like in your home? Does it occur like clockwork? Do you actually take the time to ask your wife if she wants to have sex? If so, try to refrain from doing so. Yes, you may be rejected, due to a headache or being tired, but why not take the chance? Be spontaneous. Seduce your wife. Make her want to have sex with you.
4 – Fulfill Her Fantasies
In keeping with seducing your wife, let her know that you want to fulfill her fantasies. It may take your wife a few times to open up about what she likes or fantasizes about sexually, but the information will likely come out soon. Give it your all to fulfill your wife’s sexual fantasies. It is also important to note that afterwards is the perfect time to share your fantasies and sexual desires with your wife. In end, you may all end up being much more pleased.
As you can see, there are a number of different ways that you can go about improving the intimacy in your relationship. Please remember, however, that you want to get started in someplace other than the bedroom. Sex in a marriage is about more and should be more than just the act itself. Taking the time to date and compliment your wife will more than pay off in the end.
Marriage is the best form of companionship designed by mankind. After marriage a person is assured of at least one friend for life. Marriage gives some assurance that one will have a companion through thick and thin till the end. We cannot call our other friendships and relations so dependable. That is why marriage is important. All this was certainly true, few decades ago. Is it so even now? How far are you dependent on your marriage to derive satisfaction and peace in life?
Now let us examine some personalities. For my first example I will take a man/woman who is career oriented. For whom nothing matters other than the career and achievements in the work place. What kind of married life will such a person have? One can assume that such a person will not be very dependent upon married relationship. Such a person will not undergo an unbearable shock if marriage breaks.
Take another example of a person who has a large group of friends and socially networks very well. Attends all the functions, parties and celebrations thrown by friends. If someone is a typical social animal that thrives in a group of friends and invents reasons for gatherings, will he/she depend on the married life for happiness? Such people are not highly dependent on their married life for happiness. Their attitude is different.
On the other hand, let us take an example of a person who is introvert and likes to remain with and shares more time with family. Such a person is a devoted family person and may get devastated if separated or after the death of spouse.
All of us derive different pleasures with different relationships. Our priorities vary. Our value system varies. Because of these differences in our personalities, marriage may or may not play a very important role in every ones life.
Have you ever noticed that arguments are rarely “won?” Even if you think you won an argument, what did you win? If there really is a loser, he at least learned something, right? What did you get? Ego satisfaction, debating practice, and diminished mind power.
Arguing Diminishes Mind Power?
There are times when things need to be debated, but most of the time, it really isn’t productive. Do you want to argue the point? What do you get from a useless debate, and more importantly, what do you lose?
One thing is certain. A person listening to arguments can learn something from both sides, but what about the participants? If your opponent makes a really good point, do you say, “Hey, you’re right!” or do you more often just look for a better argument?
Arguing too much gets you in the habit of looking for arguments more than for truth. You also get deeper into your thinking ruts the more you defend a position. In a rut and ignoring the truth? If that doesn’t sound like it’s good for mind power, it’s because it isn’t.
Mind Power From Listening
If you say the moon is closer, and I say the sun is, one of us has to be right. If you say nurture is more important, and I say nature is, we’re both right. The first argument has clearly defined terms. This isn’t common, and even here, what’s the point of arguing?
In the second example, our arguments have to do with values and experiences. We’ve seen different things in life, and we could spend a lifetime defining “important,” or I could shut up and listen. My mind becomes more powerful with the addition of your ideas and knowledge. Listening is the better way.
To break the habit of arguing, purposely ask for peoples opinions, and listen without saying anything. You can ask them to clarify, but don’t offer one contrary idea. Do this enough, and you’ll be surprized how much you learn. Some of us are also surprized by how difficult this simple technique can be, but it works.