Your Sexual Past – Does it Bother your Boyfriend?

The last thing your boyfriend wants to think about is another guy having been with you (whether we’re talking about sex or just hooking up). Envisioning some other guy getting down with you can literally drive him crazy.

Have you had a checkered sexual history that’s filled with lots of experience? If so, your boyfriend might have trouble dealing with this. But this is something that he must accept.

Don’t you dare let someone else throw your past in your face or hold it against you. If it’s ancient history (or only a few months ago), let it stay there, and move on.

He must accept you for all that you areIf he’s chosen to be with you…he needs to accept you for all that you are. And that means everything. It doesn’t mean he has to like your sexual history, of course, but it means he can’t hold it against you. It’s completely unfair for him to want to date you and then start knit-picking about details from your past.

If he’s constantly bringing up your pastTell him flat out that he’s going to have to accept everything about you if he wants to date you. Let him know he has two choices:

a) You two break up

b) You two stay together…but he can never mention your sexual past ever again. Never. Not even when you two are fighting.

Learn from your mistakes and move onThe few moments of pleasure that come from sex and hooking up can have a permanent effect on you reputation and self-esteem. If you’ve chosen to change your “free loving” ways, you’re doing the right thing and that’s what matters most. On the other hand, if youve only had a few hookup and your man is making a major issue about it, you might want to rethink whether you really need to date such a puritanical person.

Don’t be afraid of failure

What to Do When You Catch Your Partner Cheating

Are you in a serious romantic relationship? If you are, is your relationship defined as being boyfriend and girlfriend? If it is, you may still be curious about cheating. Despite the fact that you may not be married, it doesn’t mean that a cheating partner will not hurt.

If you catch your boyfriend or girlfriend cheating, you may be curious as to what you should do. After all, a quick internet search online will mostly produce results for married couples. As a reminder, just because you are not married, it doesn’t have to mean that you have to put up with a cheating boyfriend or girlfriend.

If you learn that you boyfriend or girlfriend has been cheating, the first thing that you will want to do is take a step back. You will want to fully think the situation through. Catching a cheating spouse often results in impulsive actions. It is expected, but it can be harmful. As for what you should do when you do learn about the cheating, please continue reading on.

If you actually catch your boyfriend or girlfriend in the act, like if you see them having sex, leave the room. In fact, you should do so immediately. Verifying an affair is one thing, but staying the room, even just to argue, is not advised. Vacate the premise immediately, unless of course it is your own home. This gives you time to think about what you saw and what your actions should be, without having to see half naked bodies sitting in front of you.

Be sure to think about what you saw or what you learned. If you are seriously considering ending your relationship, do not decide right away. Instead, ask your boyfriend or girlfriend for a little bit of time apart. This is ideal if you do not live together. If you do live together, ask that your cheating partner stays with friends or family members. At the very least, have them sleep in another room.

Another action that you can take is to breakup with your boyfriend or girlfriend. As previously stated, you may not want to do this right away, especially if you are in a long-term relationship. With that in mind, be sure to remember that many men and women who cheat often do so again and again. Do you really want to always be wondering if your boyfriend or girlfriend is where they say they are?

If you are interested in trying to save your relationship, you should recommend counseling to your cheating partner. Although counseling is often associated with marriage, couples counseling is also available and can be helpful as well. Your chances of saving your relationship are better if you are older, as opposed to being a teenager, or you have been in a long-term relationship. For many, long-term relationships are worth saving.

As for what you will never want to do, never resort to violence. When placed in situations, such as a finding a cheating spouse, both men and women have the ability to become violent. This violence may be physical, verbal, or a combination of them both. Whatever you do, do not resort to violence, as it often makes the situation much worse than it needs to be.

As you can see, there are a number of different ways that you can go about dealing with a cheating boyfriend or girlfriend. Whichever approach you do take, just be sure to follow your heart, but use your best judgment at the same time.

Conflict Resolution that Validates the Other Person’s Perspective

Most people approach differences of opinions with other people attempting to defend their point of view. Our intention may be to defend our personal position, but most people view our defensive stance as attacking their viewpoint. It can create confrontation and easily leads to interpersonal issues with the other person. This approach to conflict resolution creates many avoidable arguments in the work place and home.

So how can we present our point of view without creating this reaction in people? The key is to learn to see the situation from the other’s point of view and address it from within their viewpoint as well as from our own. We can still express our thoughts and feelings about a situation using this approach, but it usually produces a very different outcome.

This technique is an excellent way to approach all communication, whether with family, friends, work colleagues or strangers. We learn to express our thoughts, concerns and ideas and even disagree with others, but acknowledge verbally and through our body language, that the other person has the right to their opinions and thoughts about the issue causing the disagreement.

This approach maintains a relationship between two people that acknowledges that no one position is more valid than another’s views, perspectives or thoughts.. This does not mean that both ideas are equally valid, but conveys the understanding that the other person has a right to the thoughts or opinions about the situation causing the disagreement. This approach values the relationship and validates the person, whilst not necessarily validating the problem or the suggested solution.

There is an old saying that states, “you will never know another person until you first walk in their shoes.” Trying to approach and diffuse a situation from their perspective enables us to walk in their shoes in the situation. It changes the “I want” statements, which presents the issue from our perspective to the “I know you feel this way and can understand why you do, but may I present another idea or show you why that idea is not the best one.”

As we learn and apply this technique in our lives, it becomes obvious we have gained insight into an extremely important life lesson that validates and maintains relationships, even if we don’t agree with the other person. It helps us to approach potential conflict situations in a non-confrontational way that promotes discussion and resolution.

Realize the Only Person You Can Change is You

Most relationships that encounter problems seem to focus on the “who is to blame” element. This is not only destructive but is also an action that usually leads to more problems than solutions.

Have A Look

Being the “bigger” person within the equation, would allow the individual to take on the responsibility of acknowledging some change is needed, and that the change should ideally start with the individual itself. Being prepared to accept that some of the fault does indeed lie at the individual’s “feet” is a set in the right direction.

Taking the time and effort to explore the various reasons and actions that had a part in contributing to the current negativity of the relationship will help the individual realize that there is really no benefit in placing the blame on everyone and anyone else.

Successful recovery of a damaged relationship will be off to a good start when each person involved is willing to change for the better. This should be the main focus of the exercise as changing for the better will always be a more beneficial exercise that will eventually become so normal that the individual will no longer look upon such an exercise as something forced or unfair.

The positive changes will also help the individual become a better person, thus making the overall situation more pleasant and easy to improve upon. It is also almost always easier to change oneself rather than trying to change the other party in the relationship. Changing oneself does not require the constant maneuvering of another person’s physical and mental control.

Concentrating on being a better person and a more loving and caring partner will also encourage the other party to respond in an equally positive manner thus successfully allowing the relationship to improve for the better.

Places To Get Free Counseling

Marriage is hard work and anyone who says otherwise is not really committed to making it for the long haul. Along with the hard work there are also times of great joy and fulfillment, but when this is not forthcoming for quite a while, then, it is time to seek some outside help. This help ideally should come in the form of marriage counseling.

The following are some places that one should explore for the purpose of seeking outside help to try and save or create a better and stronger marriage relationship:

Where To Go

Reading as much as possible on the subject would be helpful. When there are problems published that are similar to the ones the individual is going through the general experience and outcome could be applied or at least tried. Sometimes it would be helpful to know that there are others that have gone through the same situation and that it is possible to overcome it successfully.

Seeking counseling from a priest is also another option for those who are more religiously inclined. This is helpful only if both parties are open and willing to explore options that are closely linked to the religious angle or take on things. This is also a very helpful option, if both parties are known to the priest taking on the counseling session, as it would give all concerned a better and clearly take on the whole situation.

For some joining a support group would be a more suitable match, as they would prefer to hear several different views on the matter and also for its non threatening and non judgmental base. Being in a group will allow both parties to be able to hear several different types or suggestions and opinions that may prove to be helpful and practical.