Breaking Up & Staying Friends

In some way or another, breaking up and staying friends is sort of like getting back together with an ex. Only this time you two will not have a romantic relationship. It will only be a platonic relationship. There are some benefits and drawbacks to this. Read further and then decide whether breaking up and staying friends is right for you.

In order to figure out if staying friends with your ex is worthwhile to you, you must figure out if either one of you still has strong feelings for each other. If either one of you still want to get back together romantically, then there can be no possibility of having a platonic relationship because there will always be some longing there to get really close.

One possibility of being able to stay friends is if you and your partner find partners of your own who satisfy your need for romantic and emotional love. At that point, you will likely have reached full closure and are now strong enough to have a friendship level relationship with your ex. One example of this scenario can be found on the Santa Claus movie with Tim Allen. His wife left him and found another man, while Tim found fulfillment somewhere else. They were both fulfilled, therefore they were comfortable being friends with each other, even though they were exes.

Another drawback of breaking up and staying friends is the very real possibility of one of you getting jealous once the other one begins to have a romantic relationship with another person. This is the downfall and most common reason of failed friendships between ex lovers. If one of you feels jealousy clamoring to the surface, then friendship after a relationship is not for you. More often than not, this scenario happens, and in order to prevent this, it is best to go cold turkey. Give yourself at least a couple of months before contacting them again.

Sometimes in order to feel the benefits of friendship, you do need to be apart for a couple of months. If this might sound awkward or counter intuitive, consider the fact that you don’t know what you have until you lose it. After a little time passes, you might realize what a friend you actually had. Or your partner might realize what a good friend you were and then come back to you with mended ways. Either way, a little time apart might do both of you some good.

The few benefits that do exist when staying friends after a breakup beg the question: Why? Why would you want to stay friends with your ex after a breakup? If your new romantic partner is okay with it, then that will be fine. But if they are not okay with it, then you will have to choose whether you want to continue the relationship with both them and your ex. Some people would view that as baggage while others would see it as something totally doable. It is entirely up to you.

What to Do When You Catch Your Partner Cheating

Are you in a serious romantic relationship? If you are, is your relationship defined as being boyfriend and girlfriend? If it is, you may still be curious about cheating. Despite the fact that you may not be married, it doesn’t mean that a cheating partner will not hurt.

If you catch your boyfriend or girlfriend cheating, you may be curious as to what you should do. After all, a quick internet search online will mostly produce results for married couples. As a reminder, just because you are not married, it doesn’t have to mean that you have to put up with a cheating boyfriend or girlfriend.

If you learn that you boyfriend or girlfriend has been cheating, the first thing that you will want to do is take a step back. You will want to fully think the situation through. Catching a cheating spouse often results in impulsive actions. It is expected, but it can be harmful. As for what you should do when you do learn about the cheating, please continue reading on.

If you actually catch your boyfriend or girlfriend in the act, like if you see them having sex, leave the room. In fact, you should do so immediately. Verifying an affair is one thing, but staying the room, even just to argue, is not advised. Vacate the premise immediately, unless of course it is your own home. This gives you time to think about what you saw and what your actions should be, without having to see half naked bodies sitting in front of you.

Be sure to think about what you saw or what you learned. If you are seriously considering ending your relationship, do not decide right away. Instead, ask your boyfriend or girlfriend for a little bit of time apart. This is ideal if you do not live together. If you do live together, ask that your cheating partner stays with friends or family members. At the very least, have them sleep in another room.

Another action that you can take is to breakup with your boyfriend or girlfriend. As previously stated, you may not want to do this right away, especially if you are in a long-term relationship. With that in mind, be sure to remember that many men and women who cheat often do so again and again. Do you really want to always be wondering if your boyfriend or girlfriend is where they say they are?

If you are interested in trying to save your relationship, you should recommend counseling to your cheating partner. Although counseling is often associated with marriage, couples counseling is also available and can be helpful as well. Your chances of saving your relationship are better if you are older, as opposed to being a teenager, or you have been in a long-term relationship. For many, long-term relationships are worth saving.

As for what you will never want to do, never resort to violence. When placed in situations, such as a finding a cheating spouse, both men and women have the ability to become violent. This violence may be physical, verbal, or a combination of them both. Whatever you do, do not resort to violence, as it often makes the situation much worse than it needs to be.

As you can see, there are a number of different ways that you can go about dealing with a cheating boyfriend or girlfriend. Whichever approach you do take, just be sure to follow your heart, but use your best judgment at the same time.

When He Can’t Get Over Your “Number”

The last thing your boyfriend wants to think about is another guy having been with you (whether we’re talking about sex or just hooking up). Envisioning some other guy getting down with you can literally drive him crazy.

Have you had a checkered sexual history that’s filled with lots of experience? If so, your boyfriend might have trouble dealing with this. But this is something that he must accept.

Don’t you dare let someone else throw your past in your face or hold it against you. If it’s ancient history (or only a few months ago), let it stay there, and move on.

He must accept you for all that you are. If he’s chosen to be with you…he needs to accept you for all that you are. And that means everything. It doesn’t mean he has to like your sexual history, of course, but it means he can’t hold it against you. It’s completely unfair for him to want to date you and then start knit-picking about details from your past.

If he’s constantly bringing up your past, tell him flat out that he’s going to have to accept everything about you if he wants to date you. Let him know he has two choices:

a) You two break up

b) You two stay together…but he can never mention your sexual past ever again. Never. Not even when you two are fighting.

Learn from your mistakes and move on. The few moments of pleasure that come from sex and hooking up can have a permanent effect on you reputation and self-esteem. If you’ve chosen to change your “free loving” ways, you’re doing the right thing and that’s what matters most. On the other hand, if you’ve only had a few hookup and your man is making a major issue about it, you might want to rethink whether you really need to date such a puritanical person.