You Can Improve Your Relationship

It seems as if creating successful relationships with our significant others and parenting children are two of the most difficult jobs we face and yet we get no formal training in either. Its as if people believe that we are born with an inherent ability to do these two things. Yet, look around us. In the US, the divorce rate is slightly over 50%! I dont know anywhere but baseball where a 50% average is a good thing.

Couples go through life getting along when times are good; and fighting with, ignoring, or leaving each other when things get tough. Most people believe that to seek help with their relationships means to admit a certain kind of defeat that says something about who they are as a person. Or possibly, they believe that relationships are something we are just supposed to be able to manage on our own. Or, finally, some people believe that those out there helping couples cant know any more than they do. After all, whats to know about keeping relationships together?

Well, the truth is that there is a whole lot to learn when it comes to relationships. Unfortunately, the only training most of us ever receive is the passive learning we get through the modeling of the adults who live in our house with us and the media. Now, I dont know about you, but my parents had only received the informal training they got from their parents, and they from my great grandparents and so on back through the generations. There is so much more to know about relationships than that!

Also, my parents have helped support that 50% statistic cited earlier in that they divorced sometime around their 25th wedding anniversary. What I learned about relationships from watching them is that couples never argue, especially in front of the children. On the surface, my parents had a very happy marriage but my father experienced a stereotypical mid-life crisis and suddenly questioned the meaning of life and decided marriage was holding him back somehow.

In some ways, this type of training may have been as bad as those who have parents who argue all the time. Disagreements are a natural by-product of relationships. It is virtually impossible for two people to come together and create a life without some of their ideals, values, opinions or day-to-day activities coming into conflict with each other. The question becomes how the couple manages this conflict.

There are many things to consider when speaking about couples and their challenges and areas for growth and development. The first is compatibility. I know there is an expression that says opposites attract and I believe there is some accuracy in that statement when you think of attraction as that chemical interaction that occurs when two people meet and are attracted. This chemical attraction doesnt care what the other persons values are, what is important to him or her, the personality characteristics involved, or what either of you likes to do in your spare time. Compatibility is a key for a successful, healthy relationship. Go to http://www.therelationshipcenter.biz and take the free Assessment to determine your compatibility with your partner.

A second consideration is simply that there are major differences in how men are in relationships compared to how women are. Women generally dont understand men because the men dont act like women and similarly, men dont understand women because they dont act like men. And since a woman has never been a man and a man has never been a woman, how does each learn about these important differences? John Gray researched and wrote about these issues in his book, Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus. But I would say that the majority of people in relationships dont take the time to learn about these gender differences. It is easier to point a finger and blame the other person for his or her irrational behavior.

As mentioned earlier, a third area of growth is learning how to manage conflict. There are time proven methods for resolving conflict that we dont learn in school or from a book. There are ways to actually hear each other in relationships. By placing the relationship FIRST in importance, these methods can be implemented by couples to greatly improve their satisfaction.

There is so much to learn about satisfying relationships that your parents never showed you. Please dont become one of the statistics of divorce or perhaps worse, stay in a miserable relationship to honor your marriage vows while having so many regrets about your life as the time ticks away.

Take charge and take control of your life. Learn some new ways to improve the relationship you are already in or to prepare yourself for being a better, improved partner for the next person in your life.

9 Texting Signs He’s Flirting With You

Let’s be honest: texting is sometimes confusing! With all the subtle emotional shifts, the carefully chosen words that imply something, and the missed signals that you never quite get the first time, it’s easy to see why so much miscommunication occurs between text conversations.

Sometimes we use emojis because they seem to communicate some thought – or at least hint at what kind of face you’re making when you’re joking, or expressing grief, or being a little coy.

But emojis aren’t enough! Maybe the problem is that we can never really communicate feelings very well, when we’re just writing short messages – as opposed to being in person, touching, looking into your crush’s eyes, and using a different tone of voice.

As we often talk about, the best thing to do is to turn your texting chat into a physical date at some point.

Now that said, there ARE some ways to analyze text and determine what a guy is REALLY saying behind all those confusing, innocent, and very often weird texts. Don’t worry, we have all the secrets of decoding guy texts right here. Let’s cover nine texting signs that the guy you like is crushing on you and very possibly even flirting with you.

Click here to learn more

Your Sexual Past – Does it Bother your Boyfriend?

The last thing your boyfriend wants to think about is another guy having been with you (whether we’re talking about sex or just hooking up). Envisioning some other guy getting down with you can literally drive him crazy. 

Have you had a checkered sexual history that’s filled with lots of experience? If so, your boyfriend might have trouble dealing with this. But this is something that he must accept. 

Don’t you dare let someone else throw your past in your face or hold it against you. If it’s ancient history (or only a few months ago), let it stay there, and move on. 

He must accept you for all that you areIf he’s chosen to be with you…he needs to accept you for all that you are. And that means everything. It doesn’t mean he has to like your sexual history, of course, but it means he can’t hold it against you. It’s completely unfair for him to want to date you and then start knit-picking about details from your past. 

If he’s constantly bringing up your pastTell him flat out that he’s going to have to accept everything about you if he wants to date you. Let him know he has two choices: 

a) You two break up 

b) You two stay together…but he can never mention your sexual past ever again. Never. Not even when you two are fighting. 

Learn from your mistakes and move onThe few moments of pleasure that come from sex and hooking up can have a permanent effect on you reputation and self-esteem. If you’ve chosen to change your “free loving” ways, you’re doing the right thing and that’s what matters most. On the other hand, if youve only had a few hookup and your man is making a major issue about it, you might want to rethink whether you really need to date such a puritanical person.

Breaking Up & Staying Friends

In some way or another, breaking up and staying friends is sort of like getting back together with an ex. Only this time you two will not have a romantic relationship. It will only be a platonic relationship. There are some benefits and drawbacks to this. Read further and then decide whether breaking up and staying friends is right for you.

In order to figure out if staying friends with your ex is worthwhile to you, you must figure out if either one of you still has strong feelings for each other. If either one of you still want to get back together romantically, then there can be no possibility of having a platonic relationship because there will always be some longing there to get really close.

One possibility of being able to stay friends is if you and your partner find partners of your own who satisfy your need for romantic and emotional love. At that point, you will likely have reached full closure and are now strong enough to have a friendship level relationship with your ex. One example of this scenario can be found on the Santa Claus movie with Tim Allen. His wife left him and found another man, while Tim found fulfillment somewhere else. They were both fulfilled, therefore they were comfortable being friends with each other, even though they were exes.

Another drawback of breaking up and staying friends is the very real possibility of one of you getting jealous once the other one begins to have a romantic relationship with another person. This is the downfall and most common reason of failed friendships between ex lovers. If one of you feels jealousy clamoring to the surface, then friendship after a relationship is not for you. More often than not, this scenario happens, and in order to prevent this, it is best to go cold turkey. Give yourself at least a couple of months before contacting them again.

Sometimes in order to feel the benefits of friendship, you do need to be apart for a couple of months. If this might sound awkward or counter intuitive, consider the fact that you don’t know what you have until you lose it. After a little time passes, you might realize what a friend you actually had. Or your partner might realize what a good friend you were and then come back to you with mended ways. Either way, a little time apart might do both of you some good.

The few benefits that do exist when staying friends after a breakup beg the question: Why? Why would you want to stay friends with your ex after a breakup? If your new romantic partner is okay with it, then that will be fine. But if they are not okay with it, then you will have to choose whether you want to continue the relationship with both them and your ex. Some people would view that as baggage while others would see it as something totally doable. It is entirely up to you.

4 Ways You Can Improve Your Intimacy with Your Wife

Are you married?  If so, you likely love your wife, right?  Despite a deep and intense love for your wife, you may still want to see an improvement in your intimacy.  After all, what man doesn’t want good sex? 

If you want to improve your intimacy with your wife, it is important to know that you have a number of different options. Unfortunately, many men automatically start think of the bedroom. Yes, you do want to “wow,” your wife in the bedroom, but that is not all that sex and intimacy is about. In fact, that is where many marriages go wrong. Too much focus is placed on the sex or the lack of it.

To help you properly improve your intimacy with your wife, please continue reading on. A few easy to implement, yet successful approaches are highlighted below for your convenience.

1 – Date Her

How long have you been married? If you have been married for a number of years now, do you honestly remember when your last “real,” date was. Unfortunately, many men underestimate the power of a date. You will not want to make this mistake. If you opt just for the sex, your wife may start to feel like it is her responsibility to please you and this is not how a relationship should work.

To not only improve your satisfaction in the bed, but to improve your wife’s satisfaction, take her out on a date. Many times, getting out of the house is enough to bring new excitement into a relationship. For the best level of success, choose a romantic date theme, such as a fancy dinner, a romantic movie, or a night at a nice hotel.

2 – Compliment Her

When is the last time that you have paid your wife a truly nice and unique compliment? If it has been a while, it is time for you to start again. Is your wife wearing a new outfit? Has she recently started a weight loss plan? Did your wife get her hair cut? If so, be sure to compliment her. Complimenting your wife on her appearance will increase her self-confidence. This, in turn, can improve experiences in the bedroom.

As important as it is to compliment your wife on her appearance, it is also important to remember to compliment her on other areas of your relationship. Do you notice that the house is clean? Has your wife prepared a nice dinner? If so, thank her for the job well done. This will not only help to improve your relationship in general, but it can have an impact on your experiences in the bedroom.

3 – Seduce Her

What is sex like in your home? Does it occur like clockwork? Do you actually take the time to ask your wife if she wants to have sex? If so, try to refrain from doing so. Yes, you may be rejected, due to a headache or being tired, but why not take the chance? Be spontaneous. Seduce your wife. Make her want to have sex with you.

4 – Fulfill Her Fantasies

In keeping with seducing your wife, let her know that you want to fulfill her fantasies. It may take your wife a few times to open up about what she likes or fantasizes about sexually, but the information will likely come out soon. Give it your all to fulfill your wife’s sexual fantasies. It is also important to note that afterwards is the perfect time to share your fantasies and sexual desires with your wife. In end, you may all end up being much more pleased.

As you can see, there are a number of different ways that you can go about improving the intimacy in your relationship. Please remember, however, that you want to get started in someplace other than the bedroom. Sex in a marriage is about more and should be more than just the act itself. Taking the time to date and compliment your wife will more than pay off in the end.