Escape Toxic Relationships

Not many know the true definition of what a relationship is. Many think of it as an avenue of getting laid while others think of it as a bond between two people who find each other attractive. All these are just but wild guesses. Yes, they make some sense but none of them get even close to the real definition of a relationship. A true love relationship can only be defined by its characters. A true relationship is one that is based on understanding, where none thinks of himself only, one that has an automatic chemistry to it and above all one that is made of frequent arguments and instant make-ups to each.

On the other hand, the exact opposite to this is a toxic love relationship also known as an unhealthy relationship. A ‘love doctor’ once defined toxic love relationships as bonds between two needy individuals. In the long run, it ends up being a union defined by parasitical behavior. Just like the normal parasitical relationships in the animal world, there is a victim and a parasite in these relationships; each with his or her own degree of ‘sickness’. In some cases, the situation is quit mild that one can hardly notice that the relationship is toxic. It is only after the effects reveal themselves that they notice the relationship was unhealthy, but it is normally too late by then. However, there are ways of escaping such relationships.

Once you find out that you are in a toxic relationship, the best thing to do is to leave that relationship immediately before it gets worse. To some, this tends to be too harsh for them to do it immediately. This is normal since the two of you had already formed some kind of bond. However, there is still a remedy for such a scenario.

All that you are required to do is to take some time off while the two of you re-think things out. Preferably, this should be at least a month and at most three months. In this time, there are certain conditions that the two of you should stick to. They include; not keeping in touch for the whole time, you should reset the clock once one of you goes against the conditions, write letters to each other exposing your feelings and present them after the period is over. Make sure that you meet in a very neutral area. Come to a mutual agreement once you meet or agree to disagree. Make sure the two of you come to an agreement during the final meeting. This is the only way out!

 

Stages of a Relationship

For one to have a successful relationship there are various steps which are supposed to be followed. You must follow these steps as they appear and not jump even one of them. Why most relationships fail is because they did not follow the various steps in order. For a long term relationship to be successful, the parties must follow the steps. These steps bring about fresh feelings, challenges that you are supposed to conquer and fresh chances for development.

The first stage of a relationship is the romance stage. This is the stage that you try to please one another and try not to hurt the other. This stage is also called the courtship or the fantasy stage. This stage can last from two months to two years depending on individuals. This is the stage that you have so much in common and you almost appear as one person. You also spend most of the time together and conflict is the worst when it comes to this stage. This stage is the one that the base of your relation is built. You will also experience some biological produce. These effects make you happy all the time. This is the stage that you feel extremely happy and you do not think that this feeling will ever end.

The second stage is the disillusionment stage. This is the stage where you come to reality and you familiarize yourself with the reality. This is the stage that you get to understand your partner more and know their defects and weaknesses. In this stage you will start to feel less hyper because the biological produce of endomorphism is low. You will notice that your partner is not so perfect after all but there are some parts of him or her that are still good. This is the stage which most people become confused and you will start to know things about your partner. The best skill that you can use in this stage is knowing how to communicate with your partner and solve various problems.

The final stage is the commitment stage. This is stage where the partners transform and start to real love. This is the stage that they know each other’s weaknesses and they learn to deal with them. In this stage the partners do not need each other but have chosen one another. In this stage you are more of a team and partners than you are in relationship. Commitment is the key factor in any relationship and in this stage you start to make your relationship loud. With these few stages you can be able to check which stage you skipped.

You Can Improve Your Relationship

It seems as if creating successful relationships with our significant others and parenting children are two of the most difficult jobs we face and yet we get no formal training in either. Its as if people believe that we are born with an inherent ability to do these two things. Yet, look around us. In the US, the divorce rate is slightly over 50%! I dont know anywhere but baseball where a 50% average is a good thing.

Couples go through life getting along when times are good; and fighting with, ignoring, or leaving each other when things get tough. Most people believe that to seek help with their relationships means to admit a certain kind of defeat that says something about who they are as a person. Or possibly, they believe that relationships are something we are just supposed to be able to manage on our own. Or, finally, some people believe that those out there helping couples cant know any more than they do. After all, whats to know about keeping relationships together?

Well, the truth is that there is a whole lot to learn when it comes to relationships. Unfortunately, the only training most of us ever receive is the passive learning we get through the modeling of the adults who live in our house with us and the media. Now, I dont know about you, but my parents had only received the informal training they got from their parents, and they from my great grandparents and so on back through the generations. There is so much more to know about relationships than that!

Also, my parents have helped support that 50% statistic cited earlier in that they divorced sometime around their 25th wedding anniversary. What I learned about relationships from watching them is that couples never argue, especially in front of the children. On the surface, my parents had a very happy marriage but my father experienced a stereotypical mid-life crisis and suddenly questioned the meaning of life and decided marriage was holding him back somehow.

In some ways, this type of training may have been as bad as those who have parents who argue all the time. Disagreements are a natural by-product of relationships. It is virtually impossible for two people to come together and create a life without some of their ideals, values, opinions or day-to-day activities coming into conflict with each other. The question becomes how the couple manages this conflict.

There are many things to consider when speaking about couples and their challenges and areas for growth and development. The first is compatibility. I know there is an expression that says opposites attract and I believe there is some accuracy in that statement when you think of attraction as that chemical interaction that occurs when two people meet and are attracted. This chemical attraction doesnt care what the other persons values are, what is important to him or her, the personality characteristics involved, or what either of you likes to do in your spare time. Compatibility is a key for a successful, healthy relationship. Go to http://www.therelationshipcenter.biz and take the free Assessment to determine your compatibility with your partner.

A second consideration is simply that there are major differences in how men are in relationships compared to how women are. Women generally dont understand men because the men dont act like women and similarly, men dont understand women because they dont act like men. And since a woman has never been a man and a man has never been a woman, how does each learn about these important differences? John Gray researched and wrote about these issues in his book, Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus. But I would say that the majority of people in relationships dont take the time to learn about these gender differences. It is easier to point a finger and blame the other person for his or her irrational behavior.

As mentioned earlier, a third area of growth is learning how to manage conflict. There are time proven methods for resolving conflict that we dont learn in school or from a book. There are ways to actually hear each other in relationships. By placing the relationship FIRST in importance, these methods can be implemented by couples to greatly improve their satisfaction.

There is so much to learn about satisfying relationships that your parents never showed you. Please dont become one of the statistics of divorce or perhaps worse, stay in a miserable relationship to honor your marriage vows while having so many regrets about your life as the time ticks away.

Take charge and take control of your life. Learn some new ways to improve the relationship you are already in or to prepare yourself for being a better, improved partner for the next person in your life.

9 Texting Signs He’s Flirting With You

Let’s be honest: texting is sometimes confusing! With all the subtle emotional shifts, the carefully chosen words that imply something, and the missed signals that you never quite get the first time, it’s easy to see why so much miscommunication occurs between text conversations.

Sometimes we use emojis because they seem to communicate some thought – or at least hint at what kind of face you’re making when you’re joking, or expressing grief, or being a little coy.

But emojis aren’t enough! Maybe the problem is that we can never really communicate feelings very well, when we’re just writing short messages – as opposed to being in person, touching, looking into your crush’s eyes, and using a different tone of voice.

As we often talk about, the best thing to do is to turn your texting chat into a physical date at some point.

Now that said, there ARE some ways to analyze text and determine what a guy is REALLY saying behind all those confusing, innocent, and very often weird texts. Don’t worry, we have all the secrets of decoding guy texts right here. Let’s cover nine texting signs that the guy you like is crushing on you and very possibly even flirting with you.

Click here to learn more

Your Sexual Past – Does it Bother your Boyfriend?

The last thing your boyfriend wants to think about is another guy having been with you (whether we’re talking about sex or just hooking up). Envisioning some other guy getting down with you can literally drive him crazy. 

Have you had a checkered sexual history that’s filled with lots of experience? If so, your boyfriend might have trouble dealing with this. But this is something that he must accept. 

Don’t you dare let someone else throw your past in your face or hold it against you. If it’s ancient history (or only a few months ago), let it stay there, and move on. 

He must accept you for all that you areIf he’s chosen to be with you…he needs to accept you for all that you are. And that means everything. It doesn’t mean he has to like your sexual history, of course, but it means he can’t hold it against you. It’s completely unfair for him to want to date you and then start knit-picking about details from your past. 

If he’s constantly bringing up your pastTell him flat out that he’s going to have to accept everything about you if he wants to date you. Let him know he has two choices: 

a) You two break up 

b) You two stay together…but he can never mention your sexual past ever again. Never. Not even when you two are fighting. 

Learn from your mistakes and move onThe few moments of pleasure that come from sex and hooking up can have a permanent effect on you reputation and self-esteem. If you’ve chosen to change your “free loving” ways, you’re doing the right thing and that’s what matters most. On the other hand, if youve only had a few hookup and your man is making a major issue about it, you might want to rethink whether you really need to date such a puritanical person.