You Can Improve Your Relationship

It seems as if creating successful relationships with our significant others and parenting children are two of the most difficult jobs we face and yet we get no formal training in either. Its as if people believe that we are born with an inherent ability to do these two things. Yet, look around us. In the US, the divorce rate is slightly over 50%! I dont know anywhere but baseball where a 50% average is a good thing.

Couples go through life getting along when times are good; and fighting with, ignoring, or leaving each other when things get tough. Most people believe that to seek help with their relationships means to admit a certain kind of defeat that says something about who they are as a person. Or possibly, they believe that relationships are something we are just supposed to be able to manage on our own. Or, finally, some people believe that those out there helping couples cant know any more than they do. After all, whats to know about keeping relationships together?

Well, the truth is that there is a whole lot to learn when it comes to relationships. Unfortunately, the only training most of us ever receive is the passive learning we get through the modeling of the adults who live in our house with us and the media. Now, I dont know about you, but my parents had only received the informal training they got from their parents, and they from my great grandparents and so on back through the generations. There is so much more to know about relationships than that!

Also, my parents have helped support that 50% statistic cited earlier in that they divorced sometime around their 25th wedding anniversary. What I learned about relationships from watching them is that couples never argue, especially in front of the children. On the surface, my parents had a very happy marriage but my father experienced a stereotypical mid-life crisis and suddenly questioned the meaning of life and decided marriage was holding him back somehow.

In some ways, this type of training may have been as bad as those who have parents who argue all the time. Disagreements are a natural by-product of relationships. It is virtually impossible for two people to come together and create a life without some of their ideals, values, opinions or day-to-day activities coming into conflict with each other. The question becomes how the couple manages this conflict.

There are many things to consider when speaking about couples and their challenges and areas for growth and development. The first is compatibility. I know there is an expression that says opposites attract and I believe there is some accuracy in that statement when you think of attraction as that chemical interaction that occurs when two people meet and are attracted. This chemical attraction doesnt care what the other persons values are, what is important to him or her, the personality characteristics involved, or what either of you likes to do in your spare time. Compatibility is a key for a successful, healthy relationship. Go to http://www.therelationshipcenter.biz and take the free Assessment to determine your compatibility with your partner.

A second consideration is simply that there are major differences in how men are in relationships compared to how women are. Women generally dont understand men because the men dont act like women and similarly, men dont understand women because they dont act like men. And since a woman has never been a man and a man has never been a woman, how does each learn about these important differences? John Gray researched and wrote about these issues in his book, Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus. But I would say that the majority of people in relationships dont take the time to learn about these gender differences. It is easier to point a finger and blame the other person for his or her irrational behavior.

As mentioned earlier, a third area of growth is learning how to manage conflict. There are time proven methods for resolving conflict that we dont learn in school or from a book. There are ways to actually hear each other in relationships. By placing the relationship FIRST in importance, these methods can be implemented by couples to greatly improve their satisfaction.

There is so much to learn about satisfying relationships that your parents never showed you. Please dont become one of the statistics of divorce or perhaps worse, stay in a miserable relationship to honor your marriage vows while having so many regrets about your life as the time ticks away.

Take charge and take control of your life. Learn some new ways to improve the relationship you are already in or to prepare yourself for being a better, improved partner for the next person in your life.

Using the Law of Attraction with Goals

Many people think there is a conflict between the Law of Attraction, as taught in “The Secret” and goal-setting. The belief that you should let the Universe decide how to bring you your goal seems to conflict with planning your goal strategy. However, these two approaches are compatible. Let me explain.

A great majority of people believe that it is wrong to be too specific when they set goals. After viewing films like The Secret, which is wonderful and enlightening, some people have the false belief that being specific is the wrong approach. Many teachers in this movie guide you towards allowing the Universe to decide how you get what you want. So if we follow this approach how does setting a goal, complete with a plan for its attainment, fit into this attraction process? 

Well, anyone who has achieved an objective through traditional goal-setting methods is well aware that including specific details is the key to its attainment. They fully realize that being as specific as you can increases the likelihood of achieving your goal. These specifics should include completion date, a plan to follow that will lead to the achievement of the goal, stepping stone goals and highly specific details of the goal itself. For example, you may set a goal to have an increase in turn-over of $10,000 by the end of the quarter. You immediately devise a plan to increase sales and begin to build your goal steps by setting smaller goals that will lead to bigger goals that will lead to the attainment of your desired outcome. So how does this fit into The Universe knows the best way approach offered by most law of attraction experts? 

Well its really very simple. When these teachers talk of not getting caught up in the specifics they do not mean the goal itself. They are referring to the delivery method of the goal. The Law of Attraction is always responding to your personal vibration. Your vibration is affected by what you think and how you feel. So if you get specific in your goal and even set time-limits for specific tasks then the Law of Attraction is responding to those thoughts and the feelings associated with them. By staying focused on the specifics your desired outcome and feeling very positive emotions about it and the attainment of it, you are adding tremendous power to the workings of the Law of Attraction. As long as you dont feel negative about your goal, or the plan you have devised, goal-setting like this can be very powerful.

However, if you set your aims too high, or make your goals unrealistic, then the Law of Attraction will work against you! You feel overwhelmed, doubtful and stressed. The Law will respond to this and your attraction vibration will be the opposite of what you want. By over-stretching yourself you will get negative thoughts and feelings about your goal. But by setting realistic goals, that do still stretch you, you can fully utilize the Law of Attraction to your advantage.

One key element of the Law of Attraction is that you always get more of what you focus on. Placing your attention on certain things consistently makes them grow and expand. So, by setting goals and working a plan to achieve it you are actually focusing your energy, thoughts and emotions towards that of the desired objective. By having set time-limits for the achievement of each step of your goal and the goal itself your thoughts, energy and feelings are also focused in that direction. Thus you are following one of the fundamental rules of the Law of Attraction what you put our attention on expands. However, dont get caught up on the one channel of distribution. Be open to the universe bringing you your goal any way it sees fit! You can still be specific about your plan but remain flexible and look for other opportunities. 

The key is to always remain focused on the goal itself and not on the lack of it! You must also ensure you do not get frustrated if it appears that you may not reach your goal in the time-limit you specified. These are draw-backs of goal-setting as far as the Law of Attraction is concerned. However, they can be over-come.
Set realistic easily managed goals at first. Once you become proficient at goal-achievement you can start to stretch yourself a little more each time. As you begin to see overwhelming evidence that the Law of Attraction exists and that it is working in your favour you will be able to set you goals higher and bigger until there is nothing you cannot achieve. 

Remember that when you reach for a goal to generate as much positive thoughts and feelings you can as they will ad power to your efforts through the Law of Attraction thus attracting more and more things to you that will get you closer and closer to your objective, until finally it falls in your lap!

Would You Like to Make Money Online?

If you answered yes to the above question, then you really need to take a look at the below statistics – the numbers amazed even me!

There was an important news story recently, that never made the 6 o’clock News or the front pages – but it has fundamental implications for the future of online business.

Hidden away was the news that spending on Internet advertising is going to exceed 10 Billion Dollars this year, for the first time ever. The actual figure for the year is over $13 billion, and roughly translated into real money thats 7.5 Billion.

Why is this important and whats this got to do with your home-based online business?

Let me put this in perspective. In 1999, at the height of the dot com boom, spending on internet advertising reached $4.2 Billion – so we’re now at three times the spending of the dot com boom! This is dramatic news. We’ll look back on these years and realise were living through the real internet revolution, right now!

The possibilities this offers your online business are tremendous. The downside is that many people are going to get left behind, because they realised too late… that in 2005 and early 2006… it’s absolutely essential that your business is also an Online Internet Business.

Internet sales are increasing as a result of this advertising as well, which wasnt necessarily the case with the dot com boom!

To give you an example of why this is the case, rather than fight my way into town by car or sit on a congested train yesterday… I sat back, made myself a cup of tea and did a little online shopping. I actually found some great deals online, and when delivery is free, you can often buy more than youd otherwise buy!

But heres where it gets interesting… This week, Ive also bought (online) a spare part for a car (needed urgently by a family member and delivered the next day), a dressing gown (present), some envelopes, a new door bell, two new detail sanders (for the guys currently working on my house), some software, and a new road map for the car.

Now, I could easily have popped into town and collected all these presents, parts or items, but the point is that I didn’t. And, if the companies I bought from didnt have an Online Business, they simply wouldnt have received that sale from me.

On the face of it, one sale may not seem very important, but if you look at todays society – where no-one has the time to stop in the street and complete a survey (yes Im guilty of that too), no-one has the time for lunch, and everything must be ‘quick’, ‘now’ and ‘instant’… you simply have to offer a painless, quick and instant Online Business service if you want to survive.

Problem: People have no time to shop. Solution: Offer a way in which people can buy from you 24 hours a day, and from the comfort of their own home.

When you do, I guarantee that your online business will experience phenomenal growth. All you need is a half-decent website and the correct marketing strategy behind you.

START MAKING MONEY ONLINE NOW!

Where Can I Find My Niche? Finding Your Ideal Prospects

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Most marketing experts will tell you that you need select a niche or a target audience. That you can’t just market to “whoever is paying attention” and be successful.

Why is that? Think about it this way: if you are having a conversation with a total stranger, how do you know what to talk about? Unless you are able to find some common ground, the conversation will probably be short-lived.

Because neither of you have an understanding of the other, you must find a way to make a connnection to involve each other into the conversation.

The same holds true for marketing. You must make a connection with your audience if you want them to pay attention and stay around to find out what your product or service is all about.

And, in order to make a connection, you have to know something about them. You have to know what problems they have that you can help to solve. You have to understand them.

That is why it is so important to select a niche or clearly defined target audience. Because once you’ve selected a distinct group of people you believe you can best help, you can research them so you begin to understand them.

Then and only then can you really communicate effectively with them. And that’s what marketing is; communication.

But once you’ve identified your target or niche, you must also be able to find and market to them.

The first step in doing that is to define them more specifically. How?

My suggestion is to ask yourself the following 10 questions to help develop a very clear description of your target. Then it will become much clearer to you where you can find them.

You may need to make some educated guesses when answering these questions and that’s okay. It’s a start and you can always refine your answers as your business grows and you begin to understand your target more.

As I go through these 10 questions, I’m going to use an example of a client of mine who is a life coach who wants to help adults who are childhood victims of maltreatment or victimization, improve their health and wellness.

Why am I using this example? Because it is a clearly defined group, BUT these people do not wear a sign around their neck advertising who they are. So, they can be difficult to find and market to. Therefore, it makes a great example.

You can apply these same 10 questions to your business or niche, regardless of what they are. They are universal questions that apply to any type of business or target audience.

EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW TO START A SUCCESSFUL INTERNET BUSINESS

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1. What is their primary problem you can help solve?

Our life coach needs to clearly identify the current problem her potential clients are dealing with as a result of their childhood maltreatment. That is the problem she can position herself to help them overcome. Is it relationship issues? Is it job issues? Be as specific and focused as possible.

2. Are they primarily male or female?

Our life coach has identified her target as females.

3. How old are they?

Our life coach says they are high functioning professional women. In that case, I’d say we’re primarily talking about women between the ages of 25 and 45 years old.

4. Where do they live? What type of community or neighborhood; urban area; suburban area? Also, do you have any geographic limitations (real or self-imposed) regarding where you can market or deliver your services or products?

If they are high functioning professional women, they likely live in a nicer suburban neighborhood or perhaps an urban area. Our life coach will need to identify where she believes the majority live in her area and whether she only wants to work with women in her immediate geographic area, or if she wants to do distance coaching.

5. What type of work do they do? And where do they likely work? Their type of business as well as geographic location.

Professional women could be corporate professionals, doctors, attorneys, entrepreneurs or solo-professionals. Our life coach will need to identify the fields she wishes to focus on, taking into consideration the ones she feels include the greatest number of her target clients.

6. What is their socio-economic status or annual household income?

High functioning professional women are probably enjoying financial success, making them of a higher socio-economic class. They probably earn a good income and enjoy the finer things in life. Money is probably not an issue.

7. How do they spend their leisure time?

Do they belong to a gym or health club? Do they go to the movies or out to dinner frequently? Or, do they have young children and spend their time at elementary school functions, family picnics, children’s birthday parties or weekend soccer tournaments? Our life coach may need to make some assumptions here based on what she knows about her target. Again, that’s okay to start with. She can always fine-tune this later as she begins to understand these women better.

8. What is their family structure or home environment?

This niche of professional women probably includes single women as well as those who are married and have children. Therefore their home environments may vary. They may have no support or family network. They may have strong family support. Or, they may be having issues with their family based on their past. Our life coach will need to keep this in mind when she selects marketing avenues and writes her marketing messages. She’ll want to focus on what they have in common and steer away from areas of abiguity.

9. Do they belong to any associations or professional organizations?

If our life coach selects one or several industries to target, she should be able to easily identify associations or professional organizations these women belong to. Once identified, these are excellent venues for networking and speaking opportunities.

EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO TO KNOW START A SUCCESSFUL INTERNET BUSINESS

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10. What are their media habits?

Do they read the newspaper or magazines? If so, which ones? Listen to the radio? If so, which formats do they likely listen to? Do they watch TV? If so, which programs do they likely watch? Do they spend time on the Internet? If so, what kinds of web sites do you think they are visiting? Where do you think they are currently getting their information about health and wellness? These are all potential places to reach your niche with your marketing message.

Yes, again our life coach may need to make some assumptions. However all of these media can provide you with detailed demographic profiles of their audience. So if we’re looking for professional women in a certain geographic area, we’ll be able to find out if they are among the audiences for these different mediums.

Answer each of these 10 questions to the best of your ability. Talk to current clients to get insights. Or, talk to friends or colleagues who fit your client profile to gain a better understanding of who and where they are.

Once you build this target client description, you’ll have a much better sense of where you can find them.

The next step is putting together a marketing message that speaks directly to them and what they are dealing with. The more you understand them, the more you’ll be able to craft a message that will hit home with them. That message will become your magnet, attracting the people who you can best help.

EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW TO START A SUCCESSFUL INTERNET BUSINESS

One Key Fact About Failure that Can Help You Succeed

If you’re reading this, chances are you might have met with some form of failure. I know it burns. I know it stings. I know that if given a chance, you’d rather not deal with it and focus more on enjoying the benefits of success.

Who wouldn’t? That’s how most people would respond but understand that failure is not what you think it is. Most people believe failure usually holds them back from achieving success.

Successful people think differently. They understand that failure can help them succeed. They were more motivated by gain than intimidated by fear. What does this mean? First, failure means pain. It is difficult since there’s pain there. It can be physical pain which is fairly rare but possible but usually, it is a mental and emotional pain.

There’s nothing more painful than thinking you’ve invested a tremendous amount of time, effort, emotional energy, focus, and willpower on something that didn’t pan out.

There’s also social pain because people knew you were working on something and then now you have nothing to show for it. You feel like a fool. It may not be pointing fingers at you but it doesn’t make the pain go away because we want to impress people we love and respect.

Failure means pain and instead of running away from that reality, successful people understand that this means one thing and one thing alone. Since failure can be painful on so many levels, this means they have to work on the project with the urgency it deserves.

This is not playtime. This is not a joke. It’s not a hobby. It’s not something you do just because you have nothing else better to do. It’s real. It demands respect and focus. Successful people acknowledge it will involve the pain.

This is why before they jump in, they get a full understanding of the risks and consequences involved. They don’t shy away from these. They don’t disregard the risk of bankruptcy. They don’t brush the possibility of fiascoes under the rug.

They look at them straight in the eye. They see that monster. They acknowledge it for what it is and then they look at what they stand to gain. Then, there’s this calculated risk that comes out of it.

It’s the pain that keeps them honest. It’s the prospect of losing that keeps their attention focused. This is how you make failure work for you instead of wasting all this tremendous amount of time, effort, and emotional energy by running away from it, making excuses for it, ducking it, and so on, and so forth.

You understand that failure means pain, and this triggers you to step your game up. Use the pain of failure to motivate you. Get the motivation you need to stay focused long enough to achieve victory.

Victory will not happen tomorrow. Victory requires putting in the work, focus, and sacrifice day after day, week after week, month after month, and year after year.